How I Slayed 2018… Kinda!

2018 was a good year, generally speaking. I mean, it could never be perfect – I learnt that the hard way. If I have to rate it, I would give myself 80% for meeting the goals I set. And I am content. Here’s why:

2018 Goals

I set goals with my coach so that I could continue working on my growth beyond our coaching relationship. These goals were based on recovering from a life crisis in 2015 and finding a different way to be and live. These goals included:

A Vision that encompasses:

• A content relationship with my daughter. Our relationship makes us relaxed, happy, comfortable, amazed and calm.
• Work is over-flowing and abundant.
• I have diverse income streams and money flows to me in abundance
• I am in control of my time.
• My daughter go on holiday at least twice a year.
• Working with women and to support them to achieve their goals.

Overall my mission was to:

• To use my ideas and creativity to support social change, raise resources, write, work at my own pace and be in control of my time.
• To have a fun, open, and trusting relationship with my daughter.

My strategies to achieve this were:

1. I deliver high quality work.
2. I market myself visibly and receive recognition for my work.
3. Put a financial plan in place with a good financial adviser.
4. Working to support women
5. Consciously engage with my daughter to build trust

I also recognised the risks  of seeing myself as someone who doesn’t network; and knowing that the sector I want to work with, non-profit organisations, is resource limited. By bringing out these risks, I realised that these are limitations I place on myself and are driven by fear, anxiety and my over active inner critic. Therefore, I took my journey into 2018 with a consciousness of this and actively working to counteract it.

So what went well in 2018?

• Professionally, it went really well because I was able to stick to my mission of working for social change. This is BIG! Big because I have learnt (and yes it took almost 20 years!) that I must do work that is driven by my passion for social justice. Now, the first question I ask myself when I get an opportunity is – am I excited about this work? And in 2018, I did so much work that resonates with my heart and head.
• I was able to shift away from resources limited NGOs – and still be committed to the sector. Yes! I did this by working with donors and UN agencies. I admit that much of this happened coincidentally at first – primarily through a referral by a colleague. However, I also know that I would not have got the referral if I did not deliver quality work (remember my goal up there?). I also received a second contract from the same client later in the year. Plus, I received my first project outside of South Africa’s borders. This will open doors for me to do more work for this agency and in the new country. I do still have one “non-profit” client that I have been working with since April. What is different is that they were referred to me and we could work together because they had budgeted for, and had the resources to drive their sustainability objectives. Our relationship will continue in 2019. Lesson: Always, always do your best.
• Ultimately, work did flow to me abundantly. But you know, setting an intention requires action to manifest it. I worked hard on networking with people working in my areas of interest and it did bear fruit. I addressed my networking anxiety by focusing more on one-on-one connections, which I am more comfortable with. Yes, I did attend a few events and I did make some useful connections. But this was not my primary focus.
• I also entered a “new” sector. As an entrepreneur, and being exposed to some work with women entrepreneurs, I realised that I have a contribution to make in this space. It was a big step. I started by signing up as a mentor for Black Umbrellas (BU), and then read, read and read more on the sector. This is where I attended events that could educate me and allow me to engage with people and issues facing this sector. I also took time to engage with the sector online by joining relevant Facebook groups and contributing my thoughts and sharing opportunities on Facebook and LinkedIn. I also made it visible on my LinkedIn profile. The time I invested in this area led to me being recognised for my contribution by BU, signing two contracts for work in this area, and speaking at a UN Women event. This is also how I have worked actively to support women.
• I also realised that I needed to build visibility to have work flowing to me. I focused on networking and meaningful conversation; and I decided to take LinkedIn seriously as a platform where my potential clients are. I did research (and yes I love doing research!) on how to improve my profile on this platform. This helped me to review my profile and align it to attract my target clients. In fact, I ended up writing a LinkedIn eBook to help others benefit from the information and experience I had in this area. So, I can say that I built good visibility by focusing on relevant spaces/people (on and offline), AND examining what I want to be known for. Towards the end of last year, I received two calls from international companies who wanted to include me (as a gender expert) on their proposals to large donors. Lesson: you can build visibility by being true to your passion.
• Personally, my daughter and I did have two holidays which was a major achievement for us. As a single parent, holidays are a luxury for us because there are always other priorities. I was able to find ways around this to limit costs. Holidays will remain on my goal list every year because both of us need time out. I am also happy to say that I opened my laptop once on the first holiday and not at all on the second Yay!
• Financially, the contracts I received paid well and I was able to push back with clients on my rates (although this is still a work in progress). I also learnt that it is good to have a combination of medium term and short term contracts that overlap to help money inflow.
• I had a Coach. I have been working with coaches for the last three years and I realise I need it and I will make sure I have the money for it. I was referred to my current coach by a previous coach based on my shifting needs professionally. Working with a coach has made me feel secure that I have someone rooting just for me. In 2018, coaching helped me to clarify my focus, focus on taking care of myself, put boundaries in place, and gave me a listening ear to test my theories and ideas. More importantly, it challenged me to look deeper into how I can stand in my own way; forced me to be realistic and sensible (yes, yes, I am the idealistic type) about my decisions; and held me accountable to my commitments. I recommend it to anyone who struggles to commit to decisions; and/or needs support to move to that next level of success.This year I will work with a different coach to focus on my goal for 2019.
• Self-care. I grew up and lived (unconsciously) thinking that self-care is an indulgence. Until I was diagnosed with severe ostheoarthritisin my spine. It was my wake up call. In 2018, I found an ostheopath to help me manage my pain and now I look forward to healing hands on my body. Ostheoarthritis also requires mobility, so I joined the gym and walk on the treadmill at least 3 times a week. This gym time also allows me to listen to podcasts that help me to help my business and myself. Self-care must come first, or prepared for disaster.

So what sucked in 2018?

2018 was also a year of big lessons  for me. In my reflection with my coach last Friday I admitted the following learnings:

• Writing– whilst I wrote a couple of blogs, I did not commit myself to my writing. I have a dream about being a writer, but I stand in my own way. I have many excuses for why I don’t write. Truth? It’s a fear of failure. I am scared. So for 2019, I have decided to write more blogs (at least 2 a month) and free write at least 5 pages a month. I will also try to do my Morning Pages (espoused by Julia Cameron) more regularly as a self-care practice.
• Coaching– whilst I was able to get a great website up and running and have a few clients; I realise that I did not give it the energy and commitment it deserves. Because of my focus on entrepreneurship I spent less time on building and growing my coaching practice. Truth? It’s a fear of failure. I was scared. When I think of the coaches I have worked with – they are awesome, spectacular, effective! Can I ever be like them? Yes, again, it’s me standing in my own way. In my reflection I recognised that I bring specific value to the clients I work with – individuals or organisations. If I use my coaching to strengthen my unique value, rather than seeing it as a silo, I can make magic. So magic will be made in 2019!
• Money, Money, Money – Yes I made money with well-paying clients. BUT – and it’s a big one, I did not manage my finances in a way that is sustainable. Twice in 2018 I was floored when clients didn’t pay. Why? Because I had not planned for money drought or late payments. The end result? When a client paid late it regressed my financial situations by at least two months. When the money eventually came in, I had to play catch up. Disastrous! This year I have a goal to build an emergency fund. How? By taking an amount from all income I receive (big or small) and moving it into this fund. Also, I will change my invoicing strategy and track my cash flow for the year to avoid late payments.
• Social Media – this is a double edged sword. While I was able to build a profile on social media, I do believe I wasted a lot of time on social media. I (mistakenly) saw it as the panacea to business challenges – but it is not. In my social media is great fog I thought I needed to comment on everything, share everything , start a group of everything… sigh! Bad strategy. On reflection, I have decided to remove myself from some the many, many (irrelevant) groups I belong to, close two of my own groups, and manage the time I spend on social media marketing. Now, I will follow the advice of Steve Chandler and Rich Litvin, authors of The Prosperous Coach: “No high performing client was created outside of a conversation… Connect, Invite, Create, Propose = Clients”. I will converse more and do the Internet less – significantly less. I hope.
• Family – while we have been doing well in this area, it’s the area of my life that brings me the most anxiety. Perhaps I fear the teenage years starting in 2019, perhaps I feel I am not doing enough, perhaps I want it to be perfect – but it will never be. I frown at parents that become “friends” with their young children because then the discipline and parenting (my perception) takes a back seat. So I swing to the extreme end of the pendulum – and that’s not good either. That plus my perfectionist tendencies (ok, ok, I am still unlearning), create a hierarchical relationship between my daughter and I. That is not a good thing! Now, I will consciously start from a place of compassion and kindness (not discipline) to address any issue, good or bad. I will have conversation, rather than give direction; and I will accept that boys and mistakes are part of life. And I will be there to pick up the pieces.

All in all 2018, was a good year of connections, success and lessons. I believe my greatest attribute is being comfortable with failure. It is necessary for the next level of success. In 2019 I look forward to failing forward. May your 2019 be authentic and awesome. Never forget to take care of yourself first. My word for 2019 is SUSTAINABLE. What is yours?

Shireen Motara

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Contact me: hello@shireenmotara.com